i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
