that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she smelled like a LAN party
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
