he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
