five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
