i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
