marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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