Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
should my penis look like a turkey
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
