I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
