i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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