Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
