Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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