I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
