The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
