I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We had sex on a dog bed..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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