Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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