you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My ass is underappreciated
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
