Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
