How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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