o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
