then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
