I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
