from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
