you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
