roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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