I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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