Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Found your dick twin last night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Randomize
