Will you blow on my dice?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
