i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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