my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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