Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
