I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
