i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
where are my eyebrows?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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