Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Randomize
