its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
