Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
