I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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