the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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