I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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