We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
