God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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