she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
