the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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