do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
they need to just BURY HIM!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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