Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
