You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
