So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
