but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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