is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
