It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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