It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
