After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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