Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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