we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I need moral support for this bender
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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